our paper boats: Unseen Magic

"And when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me."

- Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

I just wanted to write a quick blurb about my days. Yesterday was so good to my soul, and I'm not sure if it was because of what I wrote in my journal the night before, but ...

"Sometimes I wonder If I'm addicted to the thrill of emotion and emotionlessness. Like all or nothing. I wish to just be--be in the moment and be happy with the beauty of simplicity, like the way my Christmas tree smells my house up with pine, or the three or four empty milk bottles which I pile in the sink throughout the day (those bottles should assure my heart that my boy is growing and is healthy), or the way my coffee maker makes the "heating up the water" sound in the morning, or even just the bright strand of lights that decorate my outside door. I am rich. And my happiness should not be defined by the news I see on social media or the text message or phone call from so and so. I am full of blessings and full of happiness because You have lavished on me."

I wrote that for me, to the Lord. (I always journal to the Lord.) So yesterday I ventured out into the cold, wet, December day. Laef and I ran errands, went Christmas shopping, etc. Laef fell asleep in my arms, as I shopped. I just wish I could take a moment in time and somehow make it become a solid so I could just stare at it. It was fabulous.

I came home and put on White Christmas, made wrapping paper, and wrapped my gifts, full of such happiness and excitement. I don't know what it will be like the next week with all the holidays at my finger tips. But I am just happy. There is so much magic in the air...

Brandon has eleven days off work, and his parents are coming into town. My parents are coming, my best friend is coming for a day or two, and Laef is going to be carried around, squeezed and kissed for days. Lord, have mercy!

As for now, I have a house to clean before my Brandon comes home.